Amongst the various things I try to be and the many hats I try to wear, at the heart of everything, is the desire to create something. Musician is the one hat that trumps everything in terms of importance to me. It’s more a part of me than anything else could ever be and yet it’s the one thing I do the least work on and have the least to show for. This frustrates the heck out of me. The main reason this is (and it’s not always been like it is now) is that I need to be in a very certain and delicate frame of mind. Anytime I create something, I’m inspired first. But with music that inspiration needs to be a billion times stronger and maybe most importantly, I need to be totally alone! Like nobody in the house kind of alone. And generally, I need to feel sad. I’ve been very very lucky that in the past few years I’ve not been “alone” and certainly not sad, so music gets put away to gather dust in the corner.
But…!
I choose to not let it be this way. So from now I’m going to learn to create in the company of love, security and get something meaningful dusted off and done! Gifted Children of Dead Lovers will be my baby step forward. This album right now is basically a collection of songs written back when I had the dubious gift of being alone and sad, and some songs written in those rare fleeting moments since then that I have found that massive spark required to get me to write in the uncomfortable presence of happiness. I’m going to revisit each and every song (ten I think) and rewrite the kinks out of them, record them and most importantly release them.
I always seem to fall short of my potential. It’s conceivable that I over estimated my potential and the reality is that I just suck but I really don’t think that’s the case. This album could be a very big step towards doing something that finally a step towards where I should have been years ago (before a 9-5 got in the way) in terms of the level of my creativity. I may not have an awful lot to show for myself at the moment, but trust me, it’s a whole lot more than I had just a few months ago. I’m sick of not being the real me, I’m sick of living in this shell of maybes and I will rectify this. Today.
Putting things down on paper (or TextEdit) helps me think things through. Helps inspire me. Hence this blog. By helping myself (baby step by baby step), maybe we can help each other be creative, productive and beautiful.

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